Sunday, May 25, 2008

I grew up with seven brothers and sisters. When Mom would return from the store with a treat of sorts we would all tear into it like Tiny Tim on a Christmas ham. The less aggressive you were, the less treats you received. However some cousins of mine, whenever I would visit them, always had an ample supply of candy. I inquired of them one day as to the whereabouts of their bounteous candy supply. They informed me that they had a neighbor that had a "whole barrel" full of candy that they had access to whenever they wanted. As a kid I imagined those huge wood barrels used to store wine. WHOAAAH! What a concept! I could hardly wrap my mind around such a utopic concept.

Well recently some friends from church, we'll call them, "Steadman", "Tylee", and "Aron" inherited the Easter Bunny's excess candy from the Easter season. When they caught wind that I was a chocolate lover of sorts they wondered if I wanted to share in their bounty. "Sure", I replied, "I'll take as much as you are willing to give me." Shortly there after "Steadman" shows up with his truck full of chocolate! Not just a couple bags of Hershy's Kisses and chocolate covered bunnies, but the mother load of all loads of chocolate. He unloaded multiple grocery store bags spilling over the top with chocolate candies.

After my wife picked me up off the ground and dusted me off after loosing consciousness, we brought the massive quantity of chocolate into the house. I am unsure of the total weight of chocolate given, but I think a guess of 60-70 lbs would not be far off. I am certain if we had big "wood barrel" we could easily fill it. Now I don't know the real truth about my cousins neighbor's candy barrel, but I know that this was truly a dream come true.


By the way I have gained 14 lbs, and my teeth always hurt. It also hurts to breath and my skin seems jaundiced, and when I walk to the car I get light headed and I get the taste of pennies in my mouth. Plus my kids have developed a weird rash at which they are always picking at. But what a small price to pay for a childhood dream.


Lee Family said...

u so funny
that would be a dream come true for me. And yes, all of the side effects your family experienced - minor in comparison to the fact that you got BUTTloads of free chocolate. so awesome. totally jealous.

Jon and Melissa said...

Dude, I know who your cousins were talking about. It was that crazy single lady who lived on the corner and had all those kids running around in there underwear. Man, It's killing me that I can't remember her name, but she would make all this home-made candy. I baby sat at her house once. Don't ask me how that happened, but all I remember was her kid had THE POOPIEST diaper I had ever changed in my life...dark chocolate in color, I mean really dark chocolate. Absolutely Disgusting!!! Sorry T.M.I.--I know, but I was thinking it must have something to do with all that Candy she had. Be on the look out for dark chocolate.

Taste of pennies in your mouth...Hilarious.

The Clark said...

did kurt really pen this? i had no idea he was so literary. great writing! and sorry you are going to get EVEN FATTER, like you need ANY extra poundage kurt...


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