Friday, February 29, 2008

THAT KIND OF MOM....

How many times have you heard this in your lifetime? "When you're a mom you can do it however you want to." "I'm the mom that's why."

How many times have you said this in your lifetime? "I am not going to be like my mom." "When I'm a mom, I am not going to do that."

I think we as women all have an idea of the kind and type of mom we want to be at a young age.
I must admit that I am not yet the type of mom that I dreamt of being. One of my greatest struggles in life to date is finding balance as a mother. You know with kids, house stuff, husband, and myself. It is a daily challenge, and one that I've yet to master. Over the years, I've found myself just going through the motions of mothering. I've let my out of whack balance get the most of me. Eventually, overwhelmed at the thought, I have not been proactive in conquering my image as the "ideal mom". I'm not saying I'm a bad mom because I don't think that I am, BUT I definitely think I can do better.

The other day I came across some profound words that really made the light bulb go off. It went something like this:
You can be any kind of mom you want to be. If you want to be the mom that takes her kids to the park, library, or museums everyday then be that mom. If you want to be the mom that has the cleanest house on the block, then be that mom. If you want your kid to have the funnest mom in the neighborhood then be that mom. You can be any kind of mom that you want to be. I do have control over what I do with my life and they type of mom I do want to be. Of course I already knew that, I just needed to be reminded of it.

With baby steps, little by little, I plan to evaluate my list and make it happen. Last night I made my first step to accomplishing one item on my list. I bought a cookie jar. Ya, we've never owned one. One item on my "ideal mom" list is: I want to be the kind of mom that has cookies in the cookie jar when her kids come home from school. Last Monday I baked cookies for the first time in.........I can't even remember how long. Now that I bought a cookie jar, I will have to keep it filled up. My kids love cookies, and I love that they love cookies. Baby steps......
Hopefully by deciding to get off my duff and be active, eventually I will meet my expectations of the "Ideal Mom". Do you have a list? Have you mastered it yet? What's your secret?

7 comments:

Kristin said...

I loved this post, and it makes me feel better because I think we all have that "ideal mom" we want to be. You have inspired me to try and work towards being that mom. Thanks

RG in ID said...

Will you be MY mom? Those cookies are sounding good.

I'm having major guilt on the mom-front this month. I've been super distracted with a million things. It is just starting to slow down & get back to normal. Gotta have lots of tea parties in March!

www.xanga.com/sweetcheeks676 said...

What a great post and great reminder! It's true...the ball's in our court as to what kind of mom we want to be, but it always seems easier said than done. It's the little things (like making cookies for the kiddos), that mean the most to the little ones. I am sure they appreciated it and hopefully you had fun with it as well

Sarah said...

I think you have to take it day by day....Today I am going to be the best wife...Today I am going to be the funnest mom....Today I am going to be the best primary counselor.... When you feel good about that one thing, it makes you feel good about yourself which in turn makes your family happier. If you live your life with intention eventually all your goals will be met.

Clinton and Jessica said...

you are the best! I have been evaluating my own mothering skills lately and I think you might have just pushed me over the edge to actually doing something about it. awesome...thanks kanani!

Rochelle said...

The way we see ourselves and the way others see us seem to be so different sometimes. I see you as a ROCK and a VERY patient loving mother. We all have our doubts and insecurities about how we measure up as a mother. I certainly do. Rome wasn't built in a day and in my opinion people aren't born good mothers. It's a process. One I hope I am getting better at all the time and I know you are. Chin up!

marcie said...

Thanks for the genuine journaling. My youngest son will graduate from high school in May so I have been doing lots of reflecting this year. As I look back on my boys school years I think I accomplished a big part of being the mom I wanted to be. I wanted our house to be THE one that all the kids loved to hang out at and we accomplished that.

Congratulations on taking your first baby step - it will be worth it!
Marcie
SBS-5

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