I knew this day would come. Reality. It has come. It came the other night, but hit hard the next morning.
I've been noticing that Finn's core strength is not strong and that his head control is not that of a typical child. Seeing other babies his age holding their heads up is what did me in. The first milestone that he should be hitting, he's not. I didn't think it would be a big deal or effect me like it is. But it is.
I guess the Natural Man, or my pride, is getting to me; making me sad. Sad for me or sad for him? I thought it was for him. But after much thought I guess it's more sad for me. As a mother, you want the best for your child, and knowing that he is/will be delayed is a hard pill to swallow. I had my moment. Albeit lasted all day and all night. The waterworks were turned on and they just kept running. After seeking words of encouragement from other mothers who have been down this road, I have come to the conclusion that one of the many reasons Finn was sent to our family- to Me, is so that I can 1. Learn patience and 2. Slow down and enjoy the little things.
I've told Kurt that I ran out of patience about 3 kids ago. My patience level is about non existent. Because I will have no choice, patience is something that I will have to reinstate as Finn develops. A characteristic that will be good for my being. As Finn does hit those milestones, because it will take him that much longer to do, it will be those little things that he does that will bring us joy. It will be important that I learn to appreciate the things that he can do and not dwell on the things that he can't do. He is his own person, and I owe it to him to celebrate him and his milestones; not the milestones of others.
While it is hard, I KNOW that in time, Finn's time, he will hold his head up. And that is nothing to be sad about.
